


A world with no light (part 2)

by Themidnightraven091796



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:50:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themidnightraven091796/pseuds/Themidnightraven091796
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i'm sorry i'm sorry but i must torture the dean</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. chapter 5

Dean stretched his arm out in his sleep, subconsciously expecting to feel Cass there to wrap around. His arm fell through the empty space onto a cold pillow. His eyes sprung open, all the years of always being on edge had made him quick to take action. Dean still slept with a gun under his pillow, he reached for it. Now that Cass was human he had to protect him. Dean sprung out of bed and took his gun with him to the hall.

From the direction of the kitchen he heard harsh whispers. He treaded lightly, bare feet not making a sound on the tile. Dean rounded the corner, sticking his head out just far enough to look into the kitchen. His fear of the worst was not without reason. Amara was standing in front of his angel, sneering menacingly. But it wasn't her exactly, it was only an apparition. She was here to deliver a message, Dean knew that much.

" Castiel you must have known this wouldn't last forever. Dean is destined to be with me, it is his fate. Did you really think you could stand in the way of that?"

" Dean isn't much of a fan of fate. He still has free will Amara, and as long as he has a choice Dean will never be with you."

Cass stood tall, brave in the face of ultimate danger. There wasn't a sign he was afraid for a second.

"Who says I don't have the better offer?"

"What are you going to do, threaten to kill him? You know that won't work."

" No pet, but he won't be able to say no to what I have in mind."

Cass thought of something, his eyes widening. Despite the fact Amara wasn't really there he backed up.

" He won't let you get away with it, the Winchesters will end you."

Amara chuckled, throwing her head back. " Dean couldn't hurt me, he doesn't want to. He is drawn to me like a moth to a flame." Amara turned, looking right into Dean's startled eyes. " Isn't that right Dean?"

Dean froze, she knew he was watching. Cass met his eyes, frightened for him. they couldn't speak.

"Tata Darlings. I look forward to seeing you both again." Amara vanished.'

**************************************************************************************************************

Cass held Dean tightly, tears freely flowing. He couldn't really handle moments like these anymore. He felt weak and vulnerable, no supernatural power to protect himself.

" Dean she won't stop at anything until she has you, maybe even then."

"shh shh shh," Dean kissed the top of castiel's head," don't you worry about me."

Castiel's blue eyes bore into Dean, red from crying. " not that it will help with Amara, but will you teach me hoe to fight. I feel so helpless."

Dean pulled him in tighter, rubbing the small of his back." If that's what you want baby."

Cass kissed his hunters chest, burying his face in the soft material there. He breathed in the comforting smell of leather. cheap colon, and just a touch of liquor. "Thank you Dean."

They slowly pulled away from each other, taking the other's hand and made their way back to the room they now shared. It was late in the night, dark in the bunker and dead quiet. Sometime later they fell into an uneasy, light sleep.

***************************************************************************************************************

Later that night, near four o'clock in the morning Sam rushed in Dean's room. The door slammed against the wall. Seconds later he was shaking Dean awake.

"DEAN WAKE UP!!!"

Dean groggily turned his face toward his brother." wh-what the hell Sammy. What's going on?"

"Dean! Cass is gone!"

Dean's world stops. Not Castiel, he couldn't lose him too. He had finally found someone who could love him for exactly who he was, flaws and all. If Amara had anything to do with this, she was as good as dead.

Meanwhile Castiel was driving the impala deep into the forest. Amara had given very precise directions as to where he was going. He knew this was a huge risk, but he couldn't let her hurt Dean. This was the only way to save him.

" It's going to be okay Dean. I'm going to fix this."

 


	2. chapter 4

Dean breathes heavily, reveling in the post-sex glory. His limbs feel like jello as Cass softly kisses his head all the way down to his most sensitive parts. Dean hummus happily, closing his eyes.  
"Baby?"  
"Mmm?"  
"Can we listen to some music?" Dean peaks down at Cass who is moving his way back up to his stomach.  
"Sure Cass anything in particular?"  
"Whatever you would like is fine Dean." Cass smiles sweetly before suckling a hickies onto Dean's hip bone. Dean luckily has no need to move away from the pleasurable sensation. His mom dock is less than a foot away on his nightstand. He presses shuffle and closes his eyes happily. He expects a hard rock song to play but before he realizes it he is humming along to a love song.  
sayin I love you......more than words  
Quietly Cass begins to sing the next verse of the song:  
Now that I've tried to  
Talk to you  
And make you understand  
All you have to do  
Is close your eyes  
And just reach out your hands

And touch me  
Hold me close  
Don't ever let me go  
More than words  
Is all I ever  
Needed you to show  
Then you wouldn't  
Have to say  
That you love me  
Cause I'd already know  
Dean is now wide eyed and staring at his angel who is now laying beside him caressing his face.  
"Sorry I know you don't like chic flick moments but I actually know this song."  
Dean would normally agree but right now Cass had never been hotter or more his than ever. So instead he suckered up his pride and sang with Cass.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two  
More than words to show you feel  
That your love for me is real  
What would you say if I took those words away  
Then you couldn't make things new  
Just by saying I love you  
They sang the last few lines together, looking into each other's eyes. They held each other like they couldn't live without the other.  
Soon they fell into a light sleep, half awake and half asleep, with smiles on their faces. They had no idea how much time had passed when they heard the loud bang of the bunker door and heavy footsteps on the metal staircase.  
Sam had gone out for supplies so the door to Dean's room was wide open. Unfortunately Sam was not the very observant type when it came to Dean so he had no idea what he was walking into. Cass was in a bit of a deeper sleep so he didn't have a clue what was about to go down but Dean was in a panic.If he had to guess it took 1 minute for someone to walk from the bunker door to Dean's room. He sprung into action,flinging himself off the bed.  
However Dean was still a bit groggy so he fumbled a bit, knocking over the nightstand. "Son of a bitch!"  
Cass turned and grumbled. "Dean!?" Sam called. "Shit shit shit." Dean flung the blanket over Castiel's bare bottom and snagged his boxers off the floor. He yanked them on in record time. Dean had just enough time to fix his sex hair and take a deep breath before Sam rounded the corner.  
"Dean are you alr-" Sam caught sight that Dean was only in his boxers first." Dude put some clothes on I'm home-" Then Sam saw a slowly waking Castiel, rubbing his eyes and yawning.  
"Oh."  
Dean blinked and thenjoy looked over at Cass who had just realized they weren't alone anymore.  
"Yeah."  
Castiel peered at the two brothers through heavy lids and smiled. He got a kick of watching Dean defend his honor.  
"I didn't realize you'd be home so soon."  
"Dean I've been gone for hours."  
"What but i-" Dean looked at the tipped over alarm clock. It had been seven hours.  
"Yeah man, but it's okay. I figured you two could use some time alone . You two were eye fucking all through lunch."  
"We were not!"  
"Dean relax it's cool. I'm okay with all this. I know he makes you happy." Sam smiled at Cass who blushed. Dean didn't know quite what to say. He opened his mouth but words wouldn't come out. Instead he settled for a bear hug.  
Sam let out a surprised gasp.  
"Dean Dean you're still in your boxers man...Dean! "  
Dean laughed and socked his brother in the arm.  
"Bitch."  
"Jerk."  
Cass chuckled and whispered under his breath...." assbutt"


	3. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i'm sorry but i must torture the dean

Castiel stood on a hill over-looking the crystal blue lake below. He was deep within the forest now and Amara was steadily approaching. Black storm clouds grew and stretched over the land. The wind was picking up, blowing Castiel's trench coat in all directions. He shivers, the temperature is dropping now, he can see his breath. The wind intensifies as water droplets begin to fall. This is it he thought. I'll do whatever it takes to save Dean. Castiel closes his eyes and breathes deeply. When he slowly opens them Amara stands before him.  
"Hello little angel."  
"Amara, what do you want from me?"  
"Isn't it obvious dear? Your death." Amara plunges her hand through Castiel's chest and rips his still beating heart right out. He drops to the ground gasping for air, choking on his own blood.  
"This.Isn't.Over."

 

Dean is running to the garage. Castiel took baby so he had no choice but take one of the old men of letters' cars. Sam climbed in the passenger seat and they speed out. He couldn't have gotten far. Cass had only been gone about ten minutes. Luckily for Dean they lived on a dirt road and it had rained last night. The only tracks left were the impala's leading straight into the forest.  
They followed them deep into the trees where they stopped at the lake. What was he doing out here? Dean ran to the trail near by that held Cass's clear dress shoe prints. " Cass! Cass where are you!?" He ran and ran until his eyes locked on the former angel's lifeless body at the top of the hill.  
"Cass?," Dean's voice broke," no no no!" He collapsed at his side sobbing the second his eyes landed on the gaping hole in his chest. Blood dripped from his lips, his blue eyes were wide and lifeless. In the back of his mind he registered that Sam was holding him, talking to him.   
" You said you wouldn't let me go Cass." Sam held him tighter as Dean shook, sobbing uncontrollably.  
"We'll get him back Dean, we'll find a way."  
"I-I'm going to kill her-Amara is as good as dead."  
"we'll figure it out, but Dean we need to go. Amara is probably watching us."  
Dean sniffled, wiping away the tears. "You're right, go open the back door."  
"Dean I'm not leaving you."  
"Get out of here damn it!," Dean lashed out, shoving Sam away. He nodded and stood, quietly walking away. Dean was left there with his fallen love. He pulled him into his arms, kissing his forehead. Dean brushed Castiel's fluff of hair out of his eyes. "I'm going to fix this baby, I promise...even if I have to come see you to do it."  
He lifted him off the ground, cradling him to his chest, and slowly moved down the hill. He tried to pretend he was asleep or drunk, that maybe he could stop the self- destructive thoughts he was having. But how could he live in a world without Castiel? Perhaps he couldn't. He would go just as far to save Cass as he would family.  
" Now would be a good time to show up and help your son you douche. You've done it before, but what you're too good to save him when your sister shows? Coward."  
Dean looked down at Cass again, noticing now that he was clutching something in his right hand. He stopped at the end of the trail, a few feet from the Impala and Sam.  
"Sam take him for a second," Dean said handing him over. Dean gently pulled the object from Cass's hand. It was a picture. He unfolded it and smoothed it. It was an old picture of the two of them. They were at Bobby's laughing at something and sitting far too close for the casual relationship they thought they had. Dean didn't even know this existed. They looked so happy, gazing into the other's eyes.  
" What is it Dean?" Sam asked. Dean sniffled, a tear escaping and turned the photo toward Sam. Sam smiled slightly.  
" I took that with an old polaroid. It was shortly after Cass told me about his feelings for you. I don't even know how he got it. I thought it burnt up in the fire."  
Dean frowned and opened the door. Sam gently laid him down in the back seat and shut the door. Dean patted Sam's shoulder, saying what words could not. He then walked around to the driver's side and climbed in. Sam pulled away a few seconds later, but Dean sat there, head coming to rest on the steering wheel.  
" I can't do this. I've lost everyone. Why do I even bother trying anymore?"  
"Why indeed Dean?" Dean jumped turning toward the all too familiar voice, Amara. She sat in the passenger seat, legs crossed and smiling.  
Dean lost it.  
"YOU BITCH !!!!" He lunged toward her, hands finding her neck. Logic was gone, replaced by hatred and devastation. He squeezed with all his strength, but nothing happened.  
Amara frowned and pried Dean's hands away." You should have known I wouldn't let him live, you're mine Dean."  
" I will NEVER be yours you psychotic bitch. I'm going to kill you if it's the last thing I do."  
Amara chuckles," You can try but when you realize where your future is, call me."  
With that she vanished and Dean was left shaking with rage and mourning.  
About ten minutes later Dean carried Castiel's lifeless body through the bunker door. Sam was already immersed in books.  
"Sam where should we put him?"  
Sam stood as he answered. " I think the best place would be the back freezer, it' s big enough and e won't um..."  
Dean bit his lip, tears spilling over again. "Please take him Sam I-I can't I-". Sam held up a hand, motioning for him to stop. He held out his arms. Dean kissed his head one last time before handing him over. He watched Sam disappear down the hall before he ran to the bathroom.  
Dean was covered in blood, his lover's blood. Once in the bathroom, door shut, he let out the loud, howling cries he was holding in. He stripped his clothes off and hopped in the shower before he crumpled in on himself.  
Wash away the pain. Wash everything away. Wash away the emotion. I don't want to feel a thing.  
Dean didn't remember getting drunk or getting in bed. Dean only remembered the emptiness.


	4. chapter 7

Dean did nothing but drink for the next two days. He hadn't touched a scrap of food. He had only slept after he had blacked out. He had given up on hiding any emotion, his tears ran freely, sobbing into Sam's shoulder every hour on the hour.  
Sam did his best to comfort Dean, while at the same time taking care of him when he was too drunk to function. Every free second Sam got was spent searching for a viable way to revive Cass. In that small amount of time he unsurprisingly found nothing promising. One issue was they had no idea where Castiel's soul had ended up. He could be in heaven, hell, purgatory, the veil, the void...No angel would speak to them ,nor demons. They were in the dark.  
Sam started to feel like Amara was the only one who could do this. But Sam was smart enough to know that that had been her plan all along. She would want a trade. What had Cass been doing out there anyhow? She couldn't have convinced him to come easily. There had to be more to the story...  
Sam looked up from the Greek lore book in his lap to see Dean staggering over to him. In his left hand was a fifth of whiskey that was almost empty. He had just opened that up less than ten minutes ago. He quietly sobbed, his body shaking. This didn't worry Sa as much as what he saw in Dean's right hand. He held his favorite hand gun. Oh shit! Sam shot up, racing against time as Dean's hand slowly raised to point the gun at his temple.  
NO no no! Sam lunged, grabbing the edge of the gun just as Dean pulled the trigger. The gunshot rang in Sam's ear as he watched the bullet graze the top of Dean's ear. The gun flew through the air, slipping right out of Sam's fingers. He had to make a jump for it, just barely catching it before it hit the ground. As Sam looked up he aw Dean collapsing on the ground, his bottle shattering on the tile below. The remaining liquid soaked the floor, running down the steps, pooling at the bottom. Dean carelessly braced his fall with his hands directly in the middle of the glass. Blood oozed out, mixing with the whiskey to make an even bigger mess.  
"What the fuck Dean! Snap out of it! WE will get him back damnit!" Sam was screaming at the top of his lungs as he moved onto his knees and crawled toward Dean.  
"Bu-is-my fault Sa-mam-my", Dean slurred.  
" No it isn't Dean! Cass made his own choice. He was trying to save you. Aren't you even going to try to save him?"  
"Sa-Sammy help me up man," Dean reached toward his brother who was standing up, tucking Dean's gun in his waistband. He crossed his arms and glared down at his older brother. Not only did he look sickly and pale, but he looked pathetic. Where was the man who fought for his family, no matter the costs?  
" No Dean. You need to sober up, suck it up, and help me get Cass back. You owe him that."  
"Sammy I can't do this man," he sniffled, not even bothering to move his hands from the glass. Dean looked up through his long lashes, his eyes pleading.  
" You are not giving up Dean, not this time. I won't let you. If you loved him you wouldn't be drowning yourself in whiskey."  
" I do love him! That's why I'm willing to end this to be with him again. I have a 50/50 chance I'll end up in the same place he did. Right now that's a hell of a lot better odds than us bringing him back from the dead."  
Sam sighed, drunk Dean did not know how to think everything through.  
" Dean you dumbass, he could be in purgatory or the veil or the void! Plus that reaper said the next time you die she'll throw you into the void. You die, you never see another soul again."  
Dean's head hung low, realizing he hadn't remembered the most important detail.  
" Will you at least try to get him back before you make any more brilliant decisions?"  
Dean finally lifted his hands off the glass, wincing. He looked at Sam once more, nonchalantly picking the glass out of his palms and fingertips. His buzz was fading fast, he was feeling less and less like he was alive. Every second that passed he felt more numb than before.  
Sam could see the life draining from Dean's eyes. Dark bruises circled his eyes, puffy from sleep deprivation. The bruises were the only color to his face really.   
"I'll give it a week Sam. If we don't find something by then I'll do whatever I feel is right." Dean's voice was void of all emotion. This was hitting him harder than anything ever had. Sam could tell he would never be the same.  
Do you want some coffee?" Sam asked half heartedly. Better to sober him up than let him wallow in whiskey all day.  
"Please. the biggest cup you can find. Don't put any of that fake cream shit in it either. Black."  
Sam huffed," Yes your highness. Clean up that whiskey and change your clothes. In fact, go take a shower, you smell like a homeless person."  
Dean grumbled, scooting over to the nearest chair to lean on as he shakily stood up. He stumbled from table to table until he reached the hallway. Sam could hear him mumble under his breath the whole way.  
Five minutes went by, then ten, then twenty. Sam began to panic, wondering if he should check on Dean. The coffee was done now, so he busied himself with finding Dean's traveling mug. He poured half the pot in and shut the lid tight. Sam checked his watch. It had been nearly half an hour. Oh no.  
Sam speed walked down the hall to the showers. His heart was racing in his chest, fearing the worst.  
"Dean! You okay?" Sam reached the door of the running shower and knocked. "Dean, you in here?"  
No answer.  
Shit! He threw open the door and froze. Time stood still. He couldn't breath. There was so much blood. Sam struggled to find his voice.  
"Dean...?" Sam choked out, sounding weak. his voice barely above a whisper.


	5. chapter 8

Sam rushed through the scolding hot water pouring from the shower, nearly ripping the handles off. Dean was crumpled in the corner, head on his knees. Dean wasn’t moving. “Son of a bitch! Dean!” Sam shook him, but nothing happened. “No no no!” Sam checked his pulse on his neck that was covered in blood on one side.  
His pulse was strong and steady.  
Sam breathed a sigh of relief. “You dumbass” Sam realized that all the blood was from his ear, bleeding a bit more the usual due to it being a head wound and the hot water. Dean must have sat down and fell asleep. Sam stepped out of the shower brushing his dripping hair with his fingertips. “Good thing my phone is on the counter.” He grabbed a bathrobe from the rack and brought it over to Dean. “DEAN!” Sam screamed down at him. Finally sleeping beauty woke up, flailing about as he tried to remember where he was.  
“Sammy?”  
“Yeah dumbass, put this on and come get your fucking coffee before it gets cold.”  
Sam tosses the robe in Dean’s lap and sloshes out of the shower, soaked to the bone. He picks up a clean towel for himself and dries his hair and strips off his wet clothes. Let Dean see, he was past the point of giving a shit.   
The bunker is too quiet as he strolls down the hall buck naked, bare feet hitting the tile. Each step echoed through the bunker. Sam sighs, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “I wish Bobby was still here, he’d know what to say.” After what feels like a decade he makes it to his bare little room. He swings the door open and rifles through his drawers for a pair of pajama pants. After slipping them on he collapses onto his bed, long legs dangling off the bed. He starts to close his eyes when he remembers the mess in the library.” Damnit.”  
He rolls out of bed and makes his way to kitchen. Grabbing a bucket of water, bleach and some towels he heads to the library to get to work. Looking down at the mess he shakes his head. “And he says I’m the emotional one.”  
. . .   
About five minutes later Dean reappears in a pair of sweats and a led zeppelin t shirt. His hand and ear are now bandaged and he smells strongly of cologne, the cologne he bought for Cas. By now Sam is half way through cleaning the giant mess. All the glass is gone and the liquor is soaked up. Dean clears his throat as he walks up. “need any help Sammy?” Sam frowns up at him and scrubs the floor harder.   
“No, go drink your coffee.”  
Deans sighs,” Sam look I’m so- “Sam turns and glares. “You know what Dean, just stop right there. I don’t care how sorry you are. Go drink your god damn coffee so you can help me find a way to bring Cas back that doesn’t involve sacrificing yourself.” Dean was stunned by the amount of venom behind those words. Dean frowned, feeling guilty for being such a pain. “okay Sammy.” Dean walks off to the kitchen without another word. The soft, yet district sounds of the microwave can be heard in the library.  
Dean decides to drink his coffee in the kitchen so Sam can have a minute to himself. He can smell the bleach from there and he can’t imagine how Sam had stand it, it was making Dean dizzy. Dean’s stomach growled loudly, hurting a bit. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten. Pie. Pie would make this shit day so much better. He went to the fridge pushing his way to the back where he had a small pie tucked away for a day like this. It was prepackaged and generic, but pie was pie. He sliced a slice for himself the size of a semi and small piece for Sam. He loved cherry and Dean thought it might cheer him up.  
Dean quietly approached Sam who was now at the table opening a lore book he had already skimmed several times. He walked up slowly, balancing the two plates and his coffee. “I brought you some pie Sammy, cherry, your favorite.” Sam glanced up from his book and gave a half smile, still frustrated. “Thanks.” Dean sat the pie down next to him and took the chair on the opposite side of the table. He ate slowly as to not disturb Sam, silently stealing a glance or two in Sam’s direction. Neither one wanted to admit that this mission of helping Cas was hopeless.  
Shortly after they had bother finished their pie and put the dishes away Dean fell asleep reading on the couch across the room. His head layed on the pillow Cas had bought for Dean as a gift. It had a 67’ impala stitched on the front. He frowned and winced in his sleep as if he was in pain. Sam watched him, thankful he was alive and wasn’t drunk. Continuing with his research Sam let Dean sleep.  
It was about 1 am when Sam’s eyes began to droop, that is until he heard a voice nearby, a woman, say his name.  
“Sam Winchester.” Sam’s eyes flew wide open as he falls out of the wooden chair. It screeches across the floor as he lands with a thud. Amara is there. She looks different now, radiating with power and as smug as ever. Her eyes are nearly black and her smile is arrogant and prideful. Her long fingernails of her right-hand tap against her chin as she watches Sam scramble to get up.  
“Now Sam,” Amara whispers,” you wouldn’t want to wake Dean, would you? Best we take this somewhere else.”  
Sam gulps, fear gripping him tight. He knows Amara isn’t hear yet, couldn’t be, but one day she could be. She’s getting stronger by the day, soon she may be able to break through the bunker’s protection. Sam looks over at his snoring brother, so tired the noise hadn’t phased him a bit. Slowly Sam walks in the direction of the hallway. “Good boy.”  
She followed Sam down the hallway silently and into the garage where he shut the door. If something happened Sam didn’t want Dean to know. With his back to the double doors he waited for Amara to speak. Amara remained silent for moment or two, walking alongside the antique cars. It made Sam nervous. She was playing games with him. Finally, after an agonizing minute, she turned at the end of the garage and looked at him. “I’m sure by now you’ve figured out my intentions.” She took one slow step at a time back toward Sam. “You want Dean. You think by getting rid of Cas you can get to Dean.” Amara laughs.  
“Not quite darling. Your little angel was no threat to me, he was an annoyance if anything. Oh, but how I enjoyed watching the light fade in his eyes.” If she was there Sam would have lunged at her.  
“You bitch, you killed our friend because he was an annoyance!?”  
“Why else Sam? He was not danger to me. And contrary to what I may have lead him to believe he had nothing to offer me.”  
“So, what do you want from me then?” By now Amara is less than five feet away from him. She slowly, step by step, comes even closer.  
“I want to make a deal with you Sam Winchester.”


End file.
